These Thy Gifts

Be Perfect as Your Heavenly Father is Perfect

I just had what might be one of the most important conversations I may ever have with my eight-year-old son. Not only is he the oldest, but he is also very advanced academically - and both of these things contribute to his severe perfectionism.

If he can't do something perfectly the first time, he gets extremely upset. If he makes a mistake on a math test, he cries and calls himself stupid: "I'm the dumbest kid in the whole world!" If he makes a bad choice resulting in a consequence, his contrition is often accompanied by exclamations of self-hatred. It's awful and it breaks my heart. I know from personal experience (being a gifted oldest myself) how crippling perfectionism can be. And for the longest time, nothing I have said (or tried to model about the learning process) seems to help, at least not for long. It matters not to him if I note that others have to struggle to learn new things, that everyone makes mistakes, that we all make bad choices sometimes, that our mistakes are our biggest opportunites to learn and grow, that he wouldn't treat a friend who makes a mistake as badly as he treats himself. He thinks he should be an exception. On top of all that, I then hear "But Mom, God says we need to be perfect!"

Ugh. I have long struggled with this verse myself. Surely it means just that we ought always to do our best, to never stop trying, to let ourselves be perfected with God's grace over time. But those explanations don't quite suffice for him.

On Saturday, I was gifted with a new understanding of this verse. I was at my monthly Catechesis of the Good Shephed training (I am working towards my Level II certification), and we were discussing how to present the maxims of Jesus to 6-9 year olds. This is the age when children develop a moral sensitivity. In Level I for 3-6 year olds, the focus is on helping a child come to know Christ's love for them, that He knows them by name, protects them from all harm, gives them all they need. They respond with a joy-filled falling in love with Him. The 6-9 year old child, however, begins to awaken to a true understanding of right and wrong, and the catechist's role is to help them learn to choose right action as a loving response to the gift of God's love.

The maxims that are presented to the children are the ones dealing with how we treat our enemies. "Love your enemies." "Do good to those who hurt you." "Treat others as you would have them treat you." "I give you a new commandment - love one another as I have loved you."

And then, this one: "Be made perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect." What? How does this fit with the others? And why would we present this, of all verses, to a child struggling with learning to choose right over wrong. Isn't that just setting them up to feel like a failure?

Well! My trainer pointed out to me that this verse, part of the Sermon on the Mount, is given in the context of love for enemies as well:

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48)

It was a proverbial light-bulb-over-the-head moment. HOW had I never noticed or realized this? That the perfection called for here was not that of never making a mistake or a bad choice, but that of mercy towards our enemies? In fact, Luke's version of that part of the Sermon says "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:36)

Nathan was SO excited when I shared this with him. We spoke about how sometimes, our greatest enemy is ourselves, and that God wants us to be be merciful and gentle with ourselves as well when we miss the mark. I could almost see his shoulders relaxing as the burden of perfectionism he has carried for so long was, at least in part, lifted. And I shared in his joy.

Heart and Soul Chapter 1 - Declarations of Independence

Today we begin our Black History Unit with Chapter 1: Declarations of Independence. There are a LOT of resources here, do not feel that you need to use them all. Sometimes less is more! You could spend several weeks (or months!) doing a comprehensive study on this period of African American history, or you might choose to just hit some highlights, your choice.

Main point: Blacks, both slave and free, were present in America from the very beginning and instrumental in the foundation of our country.

Read Chapter 1 of Heart and Soul: The Story of America and African Americans and narrate part or all.

COPYWORK/STUDIED DICTATION:

"Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth." - George Washington

 You might choose a longer passage for your older student. You might also wish to have your child copy and illustrate a poem from one of the below resources.

PROFILES OF FAMOUS AFRICAN AMERICANS

Download FAMOUS AFRICAN AMERICANS - Chapter 1 (You may wish to add additional persons)

HISTORY

A Kid's Guide to African American History: More than 70 Activities (A Kid's Guide series) - Chapter 2: Colonial America. Of particular note:

• African explorers were part of and instrumental to Spanish expeditions in the New World in the early 1500s; enslaved and free Africans were part of Spain's early attempts to establish colonies in what is now South Carolina and Alabama; skilled Africans were influential in the success of the settlement at St. Augustine
• 20 African indentured servants, experts in farming and ironworking, arrived in Jamestown in 1619. After earning their freedom they owned land, voted, and held political office during period prior to the beginning of slavery in the late 1600s.
• The first patriot to die in the American Revolution was Crispus Attucks, a former slave.
• Many African Americans fought with courage in the Revolutionary War.
• Congress passed a law making the slave trade (not slavery) illegal in 1808.

Choose any of the following crafts/activities:

• Make a bead necklace
• Make a 3D picture of a merchant ship
• Write an almanac
• Make a star-watching chart
• Make a kneeling slave medallion
• Trace or draw a map of the Middle Passage (p. 28)

America's Black Founders: Revolutionary Heroes & Early Leaders with 21 Activities (For Kids series) - celebrates the lesser known but significant lives and contributions of our nation's early African American leaders.

Choose any of the following crafts/activities:

• Stuff a straw mattress
• Weave a fanner
• Make a stamp
• Draw a political cartoon
• Pen a patriotic poem
• Write a new verse for "Yankee Doodle Dandy"
• Design a flag
• Read the Declaration
• Explore your family tree
• Paint a historic picture
• Celebrate Constitution Day (September 17)
• Map a capital city
• Write a government official
• Organize a helpful event
• Write a petition
• Craft a clay pot
• Form a literary society
• Publish a newspaper
• Bake firecakes
• Cook pepper pot soup
• Make homemade salt

Picture Books:
D Is for Drinking Gourd: An African American Alphabet: F is for Founding Fathers
Almost Invisible - Black Patriots of the American Revolution
Phillis's Big Test - Because she is a slave, Phillis Wheatley must take a test to prove that she was the author of her poetry
Phillis Sings Out Freedom: The Story of George Washington and Phillis Wheatley

Longer Text Picture Books:
The Black Regiment of the American Revolution - slaves who fought not only for American independence but also for their own freedom
African Americans and the Revolutionary War (Journey to Freedom: The African American Library) - Good basic overview for children
Liberty or Death: The Surprising Story of Runaway Slaves who Sided with the British During the American Revolution - interesting story about a specific aspect of black service during Revolution
Come All You Brave Soldiers: Blacks in the Revolutionary War A general book about soldiers through all of the American wars from pre-revolution to Gulf War.
A Voice of Her Own: A Story of Phillis Wheatley, Slave Poet , a biography for children of a noted African American poet
Dear Benjamin Banneker - The story of a free black astronomer and mathematician who decided to take a stand against slavery by writing to then-Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson.

Chapter Books:
The Captive (Apple Paperbacks) - experiences of an African young man taken to New England as a slave, loosely based on a true story

Poetry:
I, Too, Sing America: Three Centuries of African American Poetry - Lucy Terry and Phillis Wheatley

WEBSITES:
 U.S. Capitol Historical Paintings (note, no African-Americans depicted)
Colonial Williamsburg Introduction to Colonial African American Life
Dunmore's Proclamation offering freedom to slaves who volunteered to fight for the British
African Colonials (Click on African Colonials tab on left side halfway down)
Very interesting collection of art, pictures, letters, etc. related to blacks in the Revolution
National Park Service site about African Americans in the Revolutionary Period

OTHER RESOURCES:
Liberty's Kids - This PBS history program for kids features Phillis Wheatley in episode 2 as well as a freed black artisan throughout the show (whose still-enslaved brother escaped and chose to fight for the British).

Crispus Attucks was the first patriot to die in the American Revolution in the Boston Massacre in 1770. The US Mint issued a commemorative coin in 1998.


In 1975 the US postal service issued a stamp of Salem Poor - African-American patriot who fought at Bunker Hill


An interesting rabbit trail - finding info on Prince Whipple - often identified as the African America in the front of the boat crossing the Delaware in Leutze's famous painting. He did serve in Revolution, but story of being at Trenton in Dec. 1776 appears not to be accurate.



Thanks to MaryM and stellamaris for your many contributions of books and resources for this chapter! If anyone has any further suggestions, please do share!

Up next: Chapter 2: Slavery

Heart and Soul - A Black History Unit

 

I am putting together a Black History Unit (with the help of Mary in Denver and Caroline in Virginia) based on the book Heart and Soul: The Story of America and African Americans by Kadir Nelson. A lovely and moving living book, gorgeously and copiously illustrated, Heart and Soul tells the history of America through the eyes of an African American woman whose grandfather was a slave, and who as a grandmother herself cast her vote for the man who would become the first African-American U.S. President. Be sure to listen to this NPR Author Interview.

Suggested for 4th grade and up. Quotes from famous Americans at the start of each chapter make the perfect copywork/dictation. Three-to-four-page chapters are ideal for narration. This is the perfect spine for a 2-3 month unit on African-American history.

Chapter headings follow:

Prologue
1 - Declarations of Independence
2 - Slavery
3 - Abolition
4 - Lincoln's War
5 - Reconstruction
6 - Cowboys and Indians: Native Americans and Westward Negroes
7 - Turn of the Century and the Great Migration
8 - Harlem and the Vote for Women
9 - Hard Times and World War II
10 - Black Innovation
11 - Jim Crow's A-Dying
12 - Revolution
Epilogue

Also used throughout this unit:

D Is for Drinking Gourd: An African American Alphabet

A Kid's Guide to African American History: More than 70 Activities (A Kid's Guide series)

I, Too, Sing America: Three Centuries of African American Poetry (also available as an audiobook).

If anyone would like to contribute to this collaboration you may do so here.

Next Heart and Soul post: Chapter 1 - Declarations of Independence